Easing into it

Much has happened in the last few weeks. It boggles my wee brain. I graduated, we packed up the whole Oakland-thing in a U-haul, we drove, drove, drove, we arrived in Denver and unpacked, unpacked, unpacked. And today, I went to my first day of orientation at the hospital. We got bad coffee, good bagels, a multitude of binders, books, (long!) white coats, stamps with our names and pager #s on them (!). These last two accoutrements I have coveted since I begand on wards. We don't get the pagers themselves for a couple more days, anyway, which is just fine. I'm on call this weekend, which should be hilarious. Tomorrow, we have to go back at 6:30 am (again, !) for more fol-de-rol.
I'm really just stunned, and obviously not able to come up with much profundity on the topic. Sleep has been dogged by anxiety-hospital-school dreams. I am grinding my teeth for the first time I can recall in my life.
We also have yet to secure anything like quality daycare for Gabriel. I really thought this one awesome, bilingual, montessori would come through, but just found out today that they likely won't have anything till January.
I love our new apartment, however. For the first time in my pseudo-adult life, I moved into a clean apartment. What a difference that makes! Plus lots of windows, light and gorgeous hardwood floors. We can walk to the grocery store and Wild Oats, plus coffee, dry cleaners, restaurants. Oh, and I got a new pair of glasses that I LOVE. I've taken to wearing them daily, which I haven't done since I begged my parents for contacts before I started seventh grade. M says they make me look smart and sexy. Frankly, I've never had it so good!
Which is good to remember, when everything else seems beyond my grasp.

oopsie!

Little worker bee busily, busily packing boxes found a bill that needed paying and so sat right down, kerplunk, at the computer and dashed off an electronic funds transfer. Only, she added a few too many zeros and emptied her family's bank account into Cingular's cavernous coffers. Only realized it when sane, sensible husband sat down at computer two days later and freaked out when he saw we had NO MONEY LEFT!!! He took it really well, actually, and even managed to laugh, which, I think, demonstrates that 1) he loves me and 2) I'm not sure what.

Now, if we hadn't called the cell phone company and ever so politely asked for $3000 back, would we ever have seen that money again?

And do you not shudder to think what will happen when I'm on call in the wee hours and writing orders for, oh I don't know, MORPHINE?

Just thinking about this whole episode makes me want to drink heavily, light up a smoke and give up entirely, because ther is obviously NO HOPE FOR ME!

a strange fetish

It's hot. I'm sitting here at computer, dressed in very cute pink skirt and tank top (I know!)sweating at 10 in the morning. Fili snoozes away on her bed, grateful that the roofers seem to have departed for a coffee break and are no longer scraping and banging overhead. Our landlord has, apparently, decided to fix things up as we're leaving. The gutter over one of our windows, we remarked just the other day, is held up solely by a cable that has been curiously wrapped around it. When we called this to their attention, they got right on it. I can't complain. They've been very decent landlords. Still, the noise and commotion does make it hard to nap properly.

Gabriel has entered a new phase, I think. He asserts himself with a new vigor. Now, when he wants to tote a cereal box around the house, sprinkling cheerios hither and thither like a crazed flower boy, he cries piteously and reaches for the cabinet saying "mo! mo!" And when I say, "no," which I admit I am beginning to relish, he crumples to the ground, oversized melon first and thrashes about for minutes at a stretch. It is bizarre. I don't really know how to deal with it, frankly. I mean, any idiot-parent knows that you can't GIVE IN, for the love of god. That would only MAKE MATTERS WORSE. But, it doesn't seem very constructive, either, for me to go read the paper, which is what I did this morning. Hmm. Eventually, though, he did give up on his cereal box fixation for the moment. We had a hug and a giggle and then he launched right into another obsession: ELMO. Oh. My. God. Though I admit to being a full-on Muppet fanatic back in the day, I did not see the ramifications of indulging his delight at discovering a pair of pants that I got from a friend were subtly embroidered with the visage of said Muppet. I am sorry. I did not know. One day, nothing and then the next, he points and says, "el-MOE." How sweet! How cute! But it quickly became...an obsession. He wants to sit and look at this website with me all day long. All. Day Long. Here's how he asks,"el-MOE? el-MOE! el-Moe! Wah! Wah! Wah!" Over and over until your ears bleed and you are pretty sure you've transformed into one of those "meep-meep" characters, for all the sense you're managing to talk to him.
So, we've done the games, the songs, the make-a-monster (fun, actually), Limbo Elmo, Chicken Dance Elmo. Elmo goes to the Doctor, Elmo goes Potty, Elmo goes to Hell in a Handbasket. No, not that last one. Hee hee, but check this out. It's an interview with Elmo's puppeteer, who is not the small, squeeky voiced individual that I envisioned.
I have a feeling, though, that we've crested this particular baby fetish. And, as obsessions go, it could be worse. And I'm sure the next one will be!

okay, I'm getting to work any minute now

A fine shot of my tonsils as I roar in triumph, having spent an entire day cajoling young master Gabriel to wear his bunny ears for a record shot.

More things I will miss:

1) Liberals. I have become comfortably accustomed to being surrounded by people who think about the world in a remarkably similar way to myself. In moving to a blazing red state, I can no longer take that for granted. And even though I'm sure to grow as a person by confronting my own biases and blah, blah, blah, there's nothing quite so comforting as KNOWING the rest of the world is quite insane, and far, far away.

2) My dog. I write this with great sadness. Fili, our mutt with more than a dash of pit bull, is canis non grata in Denver. Can you believe it? And I am choosing convenience over my dog. The guilt! It's true that we could select a far-flung suburb in which to reside, but I really, really don't want to commute during residency. And so, Fili will be moving in with Grandma and Grandpa to frolic and play on 20 acres of varmint-infested wilderness for at least 3 years. She will love it! I even think G'ma and G'pa will love it. But we will miss her terribly. In exchange, we've agreed to take in the ill-tempered and frail cat, Tabitha, that my parents inherited from my mom's best friend when she had to move into an Alzheimer's facility. It's musical pets! I sure hope Sammy and Tabitha hit it off okay. Hmm... We may all need to be sedated.

silly hats

I'm pretty sure he's covering up his baby dreds' in his grandpa's hat.

Here are a few more California things I'm pre-mourning:

1) cool foggy mornings walking the dog, looking at the riotous roses, and poppies that spring up in our neighbors yards.

2) In n' Out Burger

tuesday

Just got back from a loverly week in CO, looking at daycares, neighborhoods, eating too much ice cream and drinking a wee bit too much red wine with my family. I'm getting excited about moving! The agonies of packing up and the bedlam of unpacking are still far enough away that I can enjoy the idea of change without all the messy reality. Gabriel, as always, had a blast with his grandparents. I think he actually remembered them from the last visit at Christmas. He followed my dad around the yard, helped with "projects" like feeding the birds and putting gravel in a bucket. I came home from lunch with my grandma to find him alternating banging a piece of wood with a ball peen hammer and licking the same hammer. It does make me wonder what goes on in that head.
On the daycare front, I must say it's a leetle less nerve-wracking than last time. At least, I know that the idea of daycare is not wholly untoward. It's the specific ones that you have to watch out for: like the one just down the street from the hospital where I'll be working, where, in the 15 minutes we were there, we witnessed a teacher opening a gate into a little girls face, scolding another for wetting her pants, and the same girl getting bashed in the head with a truck by a little boy who wanted her seat. Umm, no...
We did find a nice montessori daycare, where the kids seemed content, busy and noticeably unviolent. There is a designated Spanish speaker in each classroom, and a diverse kiddo population which, frankly, is rare in CO. It's too expensive, of course, but I think we'll just have to do it.
So, that's my small life. I sent G off to daycare so I can get things done. Hmm, shall I go to the coffee shop first, or take a nap. Life is so full of a number of things....

Starting a list

...of everything that I will miss about California:

1) the ocean, even on days windy enough to pumice the skin right off your face

2) fruit, figs, plums and oranges in the backyard.

to be continued, perhaps