and by "crap" I mean this here what you're reading

I just wrapped a bridal shower gift. Gabriel helped. And by "helped" I mean crumpled up the business section of the paper with gusto and then stuck small bits of it in his mouth. The bride in question is a the fiancee of a good Peace Corps friend. They met at fancy-pants business school back east. When I first met her she scared the crap out of me in her I'm-from-the-east-coast-and-eat-people-like-you-for-breakfast sort of way. She has this veneer of confidence that I initially mistook for arrogance. Now I am fond of her. We're not exactly friends, but I perceive she has at least as many insecurities as I, even if she would not in a million years admit it, and thus can have a conversation with her without being struck completely dumb. I can be so condescending in a sheepish sort of way. I have trouble relating to people who don't do the self-deprecating thing, all right. I mean, we all know it's just a sham and we all think we're just the shit (don't we?), but we go through the motions because it's funny to laugh at ourselves. She does not laugh at herself. So we spend a lot of time laughing at me, which is a fine, if somewhat exhausting way to spend an evening.
I was at a complete loss as to what to purchase as a bridal shower gift. I never had a shower. Bridal shower, that is, plenty of the other kind, thanks. Not that my wedding was any sort of fly-by-night, hurried-up affair, but no one ever thought of that. Does one give household goods, sex toys, gardening tools, lingerie? The "theme" of the party is no help, having something to do with famous couples, a seemingly poor choice for association with an impending marriage. From what I read in People, famous couples may not be the best model on which to base life-long happiness. I went with the safe and boring bath products, with a lavender scented eye pillow for good measure. I will ignore the theme. I may be bounced at the door, but I feel it is a statement I must make, no matter how innane and party-pooperish! Really, I'm just grumpy cause I couldn't think of anything better to get.
The groom in all of this, as mentioned, is a good friend. He was M's best man at our tawdry (I mean simple) affair. He's one of the funniest and kindest men I know and I wish them both lots and lots of happiness. Ala k'aw kan ben!