grouchasana

So I had my last yoga class on Friday. I told the teachers I was moving. We all hugged and then attempted to disjoint our hips with an extended "sleeping swan" pose. I will miss the studio and A & D, the teachers (not the ointment). They were great throughout my pregnancy, helping me out with modifications so I could continue to practice, even as I grew more and more ungainly. On the other hand, I'm kind of glad to have an excuse to quit. I had a socially awkward moment and there's nothing I prefer to practice more than avoidance. "A" became pregnant when I was about half-way through my pregnancy. We talked and shared some of the tribulations of having our bodies taken over by an alien. After Gabriel was born, I brought him by and he was much fussed over by students and teachers alike. When A's daughter was born, I gave her a sling (all right, I re-gifted a perfectly good sling that I had received and never used) and sent her a card. On the card I wrote something to the effect of, "give me a call if you ever feel like you're going crazy with a new baby," because I felt like we'd bonded to a point that we could acknowledge that babies are not all sweetness and fluff. Well, she never called, which I didn't think twice about, seeing as how with a new baby everything is crazy and you don't have time to brush your teeth some days, let alone talk to people on the phone. They had a little party to show off the baby and I went and brought Gabriel, my ambassador in social situations these days. That's actually the reason I HAD a baby. Anyway, I congratulated her and she said, "oh, I've been meaning to call you." And I said, "if you have time; you know if you ever need an outing we could take a walk with the babies or something." I felt like I was doing a nice thing -- it's what I wish someone had said to me when I was crazed and lonely and stuck in the house with a shrieking baby. The intervening months, however, during which she has NOT called me and has seemed to make an effort to avoid me during and after class has made me realize that I must have overstepped some heretofore unrevealed boundary in our student-teacher/ mother-mother relationship. I just feel kind of dumb, which is precisely why I avoid unnecessary social interaction in the first place. Also, let's be honest, I resent her speedy, though well-earned, return of abdominal muscle strength. But now I get to find a new studio, close to our new apartment and forget all about this.
It's not pretty, being petty.