the surreal life
Found myself sitting in the attending's office waiting for "the team" to assemble to present patients, get beaten down and lectured, etc, on third day of rotation. Dr. S has yet to acknowledge my presence beyond saying when I turned up the first day, "Oh, I have a medical student. Great." It didn't sound THAT bad, though. The minutes tick by and he turns his jaundiced eye to me and asks, "Where did you go to undergrad?" Oh, oh, I know this one! "C---- College*, " I say, then feel compelled to qualify, "It's in Minnesota," because no one here has ever heard of it. "Ah," he says, "Minnesota. It's cold up there, isn't it." "It is indeed," I reply. "My daughter lived in Montana for a while." "Oh, it's cold there, too," I say, desperate for something to add to the conversation at this point, "I have a friend from Montana." "How does she like it?" "I think she likes it a lot." Oh, my God. Stop talking! Mercifully, the interns and resident descend at that moment, whisking attention away from my social imbecility.
That afternoon after grilling every one of the interns mercilessly, especially the guy from Burma with a shaky grasp of English, he turns to me and asks, "Now, what are the major products of Minnesota?" "Umm...farming products?" I stammer, because he can't be serious! "Yes, you should know the major products of the state where you're from." What the fuck!! "Okay, I'll look into that," seething because I am NOT from Minnesota, but don't want to point that out because I have no clue what the major products are from Colorado, either.
So, the next day, random list from Google of major farming products of Minnesota in my pocket, I expect the whole episode to have blown over, but nonetheless am repeating under my breath, "Corn, wheat, rye and sugar beets." After reporting on patients, he turns to me and says, "Now for the important issue. What are the major farming products of Minnesota?" I rattle off my list with aplomb. "You sound like quite the expert," he says. "Thank you," I reply.
I don't think I'll be getting honors on this rotation. But since the attending is clearly mad, I'm going to try not to let that bother me.
*"The Harvard of the Midwest," as M intones everytime they call and ask us to send them money, which is quite frequently.
That afternoon after grilling every one of the interns mercilessly, especially the guy from Burma with a shaky grasp of English, he turns to me and asks, "Now, what are the major products of Minnesota?" "Umm...farming products?" I stammer, because he can't be serious! "Yes, you should know the major products of the state where you're from." What the fuck!! "Okay, I'll look into that," seething because I am NOT from Minnesota, but don't want to point that out because I have no clue what the major products are from Colorado, either.
So, the next day, random list from Google of major farming products of Minnesota in my pocket, I expect the whole episode to have blown over, but nonetheless am repeating under my breath, "Corn, wheat, rye and sugar beets." After reporting on patients, he turns to me and says, "Now for the important issue. What are the major farming products of Minnesota?" I rattle off my list with aplomb. "You sound like quite the expert," he says. "Thank you," I reply.
I don't think I'll be getting honors on this rotation. But since the attending is clearly mad, I'm going to try not to let that bother me.
*"The Harvard of the Midwest," as M intones everytime they call and ask us to send them money, which is quite frequently.
posted by cmm at 10:13 AM
2 Comments:
Major products of MT include, but are not limited to:
copious amounts of manure
air contaminants from
1) oil refineries
2) sugar beet processing
3) burning "the weed" - especially if one lives in Missoulla
and last but not least, red neck republicans who sportily shoot wolves as they are threat to the source of the first item on the list
*Source: JMs warped mind and experience. JM loves MT but the residents of MT more often than not do not love JM.
PS way to be prepared. It's obvious he is hoping to be some sort of "House" from that TV show...or maybe one of the MDs from Scrubs. 10 points for you, my friend. CC taught you this - how to deal with irrational freaks.
Hee hee. I'm so sorry to drag you into this bizarro situation, even tangentially. A casual MT reference and my mind turns immediately to you! I'm still getting my heiney kicked everyday but nothing has come from quite that far afield. Though, let's face it, I'm better with the esoteric miscellany than the relevent medical details, sadly.
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