manamana

M got me a DVD of the Muppet Show for Christmas. It is great! It has allowed us to get in touch with our inner loose-limbed puppet, and how can that but be a good thing? As stated in the previous entry, Gabriel has taken a shine to at least one little muppet ditty. It's one of my last tricks in my wee shallow bag, so I find myself pulling it out quite often. I'm so pleased with this link, I'll do it again!
My mom came to visit for a week. It was fun! She and Gabriel bonded like mad and I had time to sit and stare out the window, read trashy novels, bake cookies and then eat too many of them; it's a simple, satisfying sloth I cultivate. It's also lovely to see my child through the eyes of someone else. I'm delighted with him of course, but as I see him all hours of the day and night, I tend to get a little blase about the smiles, the squeals, the delicious chub around his wrists. Not so his grandma. Seeing her in such ecstasies at his merest coy glance, playing with him for hours, and running over me for the chance to change a diaper or feed him made me think, well, he IS pretty wonderful, isn't he? It's refreshing to push out all the clotted feelings of doubt and self-loathing I gather in relation to raising my son. I know, that sounds delightful, no? But I do second guess myself constantly, and ponder every little hiccup and poop as a sign that I may have fucked it all up, utterly. Just being able to take the tiniest step back and watch him doing his perfectly baby stuff is a relief!
All right, the little bugger's awake. Enough of this sappy reverie.