in which I attempt to explain myself

In my little blog log (redundant?) I've got three abandoned posts. I've left them to languish because they suck. They can't possibly suck more than the many others I've posted, but somehow I cannot bring myself to finish them. So despite the paucity of new things to read here, I HAVE been thinking about you. Oh yes.
I've decided to go for Family Medicine. You may recall (and then again, you may not) that I'd debated in a half-assed manner the relative merits of Internal Medicine vs. Family vs. Emergency Medicine. It had come down to the point that I really needed to choose because I needed to sign up for the right clerkships and then get ready to do my applications for residency. I had a small revelation when one of the freebie med journals arrived in the mail. I usually toss them directly into recycling, but this issue was dedicated to all things pregnancy, childbirth and newborn related. I read the damn thing cover to cover. And then I wondered why and if it had anything to do with my own recent experiences (one's own conditions are the most fascinating, of course). But, I realized that this was a phenomenon that had occured over the first three years of med school, too. I really get a kick reading anything to do with women's health, pregnancy, childbirth and young children. And I remember the details and like to talk about it. I can certainly get through articles about high blood pressure and diabetes, but it always feels like work, you know. I read about ladies and babies for fun. And that's when I knew that Family Medicine was for me because, as a resident, you learn all of these. And as a doctor, I feel like I could actually create a practice where I can focus on them, if not exclusively, then enough to keep me going.
While I certainly could do OB-GYN and hit three out of four, I've decided no based on my observation that OB's are completely mad. With good reason. They work way too many hours and strange hours at that. They get sued whenever anything bad happens. And thus they are forced to practice the most defensive medicine out there. Internal Medicine has a certain gravitas, but you don't do so much with the maternal/child angle. Emergency Medicine was an interesting idea, and I found the shift work lifestyle intriguing, but when I thought really hard about it, I realized that I didn't want it badly enough to do the ambulance ride-alongs, the research and the extra courses in Toxicology, etc, that would make me a competitive candidate. So Family Medicine was left, and instead of seeming like a beat down fourth choice, I find that I am so thrilled to have come back around to it. The idea that I could help women and children brought me to medicine in the first place. I think I will be able to follow my heart, if you will, and find a way to actually use my enthusiasm to bolster my resolve to get through the coming years of residency hell.